What if getting healthier isn’t really the goal?
There are certain things we reach an age where nobody really needs to explain to us anymore.
We know we should move more.
We know we should eat reasonably well.
We know fresh air is good for us, sleep matters, and sitting in the same chair for six hours probably does not qualify as an exercise program.
We know.
And yet knowing and doing can be two entirely different things.
So this week’s letter to Kara asks a question I suspect quite a few of us could have written:
Dear Kara,
I know I should take better care of myself. Eat better. Move more. Get outside. All the things I already know I’m supposed to do.So why is it so hard to actually do them?
Kara knew exactly who should answer this one.
Meet Willow 🍃
Willow is our Guide for Health, growth and possibility.
And thankfully, Willow isn’t interested in handing us another list of things we should be doing.
Her response was much simpler:
“Perhaps you’ve simply been trying to get excited about a list of things you should do.”
Well.
When you put it like that, eat vegetables and exercise isn’t exactly calling my name either.
But then Willow said something that changed the picture:
“Don’t picture the habit. Picture what the habit makes possible.”
And that I can do.
What Does Healthy Actually Look Like?
If I tell myself, “I want to be healthier,” what am I supposed to picture?
A number on a scale?
A salad?
Me looking thrilled while holding a pair of dumbbells?
None of those images make me particularly excited about tomorrow.
But I’ve already made Future Memories of myself riding a horse.
I’ve pictured myself traveling to places I still want to see.
I’ve imagined myself walking somewhere beautiful, exploring, creating and saying yes to experiences I haven’t even thought of yet.
Suddenly health has a purpose.
I’m not picturing myself exercising.
I’m picturing what I want my body to allow me to do.
Maybe Your Future Self Has Plans
This was my favorite thing Willow said:
“She’s taking care of herself because she has plans.”
That’s a very different way of looking at health.
Instead of asking:
What should I be doing?
Maybe the better question is:
What do I want to still be doing?
Maybe you want to travel.
Maybe you want to garden.
Maybe there’s a grandchild you’d like to chase around the yard.
Maybe you’d like to learn to dance, hike somewhere spectacular, ride a horse, walk through Paris, paddle a kayak or simply get up in the morning with enough energy to enjoy the day.
Whatever it is, picture that.
Because now you’re not trying to become someone who dutifully follows a health checklist.
You’re taking care of the woman who is going to need that body for all the things she still intends to do.
Make the Memory First
This is where Future Memories become useful.
Choose one thing you’d love to be doing in your future.
Don’t worry about whether it’s practical yet.
Don’t make the exercise plan.
Don’t make the food plan.
For a moment, just make the memory.
See yourself there.
What are you doing?
Where are you?
What are you wearing?
Who is with you?
How does it feel to be able to do it?
Make that picture vivid enough that your future begins to feel like someplace you’re actually headed.
Then perhaps today’s little walk doesn’t feel quite so much like something you’re supposed to do.
It becomes one tiny step toward somewhere you actually want to go.
The KARA Effect 🦋
And, of course, Kara had the last word:
“Taking care of yourself isn’t the destination. It’s how you get there.”
I think I’ll remember that one.
Your future self may have a lot more planned for you than you realize.
Perhaps it’s time to give her something to work with.
Create Your First Future Memory — Free
Want to try this for yourself?
Use the free Future Memory Maker to create a picture of something you’d love your healthy future self to be doing.
See it. Become it.
— Karen 🍃🦋