Have you ever looked at your life and thought:
“I should be further along by now.”
I have.
It’s one of those thoughts that can sneak up on you when you least expect it.
You see someone traveling somewhere you’ve always wanted to go.
Someone announces an accomplishment.
Someone seems to have figured out exactly what she wants to do with the next chapter of her life.
And suddenly you start taking inventory of your own.
I thought I’d have done that by now.
I thought I’d have more figured out.
I thought my life would look different.
But lately, I’ve been wondering about something.
Further along than where?
Who Made the Timeline?
Somewhere along the way, many of us created an imaginary timeline for our lives.
By this age, I’ll have accomplished this.
By that age, I’ll have figured out that.
And eventually, I’ll arrive at some magical place where everything makes sense and I can finally say:
There. I did it.
Except life rarely cooperates with our schedules.
Things happen.
Plans change.
People change.
We change.
And sometimes the destination we were rushing toward isn't even somewhere we want to go anymore.
Yet we can still feel behind because we haven't arrived there.
Maybe You Aren't Behind
Think about those words:
“I’m behind.”
Behind whom?
Behind what?
There isn't a single course that we're all traveling at the same speed.
Your life isn't running late because it doesn't look like someone else's.
And you're not behind simply because the person you were twenty years ago thought you'd be somewhere different by now.
Maybe you're exactly where you need to be to ask a much more interesting question:
Where would I like to go next?
Stop Measuring. Start Imagining.
When we think we're behind, our instinct is often to look backward.
We start measuring.
What haven't I accomplished?
What should I have done differently?
How much time did I waste?
Why didn't I start sooner?
But none of those questions creates what's next.
So what if we stopped measuring the distance between where we are and where we thought we'd be?
What if we looked forward instead?
Not at someone else's life.
Not at an old plan.
At our own future.
What would you like to see there?
You Still Get to Have a Next
This may be one of my favorite things about getting older.
There are chapters behind us.
Lots of them.
But there are also blank pages ahead.
We don't know exactly how many, which makes them far too valuable to spend trying to catch up with an imaginary schedule.
There are still places you haven't been.
People you haven't met.
Things you haven't tried.
Ideas you haven't had yet.
There may even be parts of yourself you haven't met.
And perhaps instead of worrying about whether you're “further along,” you could become curious about what you'd like to experience from here.
Make a Memory Instead of a Deadline
This is one of the reasons I love creating Future Memories.
A traditional goal can sometimes feel like another deadline.
I need to accomplish this by...
I should have this done before...
If I haven't achieved this by then...
A Future Memory asks something different.
What would you love to remember?
Maybe it's a trip.
Maybe it's wearing something fabulous somewhere you've always wanted to go.
Maybe it's finishing something you've been dreaming about creating.
Maybe it's learning something new.
Maybe it's simply waking up one morning and realizing your life feels different.
You don't have to know the entire route.
Just create one picture of somewhere you'd like to go.
Then take one small step toward it.
Try Asking a Different Question
The next time you hear yourself say:
“I should be further along by now.”
Stop for a moment.
And ask:
Further along toward what?
Do I still want what I thought I would want?
Whose timeline am I measuring myself against?
And most importantly:
What would I love to remember next?
Maybe you don't need to catch up.
Maybe you don't need to hurry.
Maybe you simply need to stop measuring your life against an old picture and make a new one.
Because you aren't finished.
You're still becoming.
And there is still so much you can put in the picture.
What Would You Love to Remember Next?
Instead of worrying about where you thought you'd be by now, start picturing where you'd love to go from here.
✨ Create your first Future Memory FREE at:
The KARA Effect
See it. Remember it. Become it.